All you need is blood, sweat – and panties

This story contains strong language and references some may find objectionable.

By Angus McPhail

There is a wall covered with grafitti. Two men stand in front of it. Both are wearing sweaters with patterned fleece vests on top, each vest depicting deer in the woods. One man is wearing a blue baseball cap and sunglasses. The other has short hair and a checkered pattern on his vest. The two men are discussing foreign culture.

“Hey, did you know that in Japan, you can buy used panties in a vending machine?” the man in the blue cap says.

“Really?” says the other man.

“Yeah.”

“Weird.”

“You just go up to the vending machine and you’re like ‘Hm, Coke or Pepsi? Actually, panties,” says the man with glasses, pressing an imaginary vending machine button.

“Why would anyone want a pair of used panties?”

“I don’t know. It’s just different over there, eh?”

“Yeah, it really is a different culture over there, huh?”

“Nothing against them, though,” says the capped man.

“No, no. To each his own,” says the other.

“When you really break it down, we’re all God’s creatures. Some are just a little bit more f_____ up than the others.”

“Yeah, they are great people,” says the man with the checkered vest.

“Just f_____.”

* * *

The two men are Jeremy Larter and Robbie Moses and they are not just having a regular conversation. The two men, along with Adam Perry, their director of photography, are filming an episode of their web series Ponderings. Each episode of the show is about two and a half minutes long and a new one is posted to their website http://www.ponderings.ca every Tuesday.

The two lead actors in the show also co-wrote and co-produced every episode of the series, said Larter.

“Robbie and I made 20 episodes of Ponderings on a $1,500 grant from the Media Arts Co-Op,” Larter said.

“All you need is to put in some blood, sweat, and tears to get a web series off the ground.”

This isn’t the first web series Larter has created. His first series, Profile PEI, gave him an idea of what he wanted to do with Ponderings.

“I wanted to make the episodes shorter, with a visual and narrative concept that stayed consistent throughout all of the episodes,” Larter said.

“I wanted the episodes to work individually but also work together in the bigger picture.”

Usually, the episodes focus on the two main characters, portrayed by Larter and Moses. But occasionally, other actors appear in the episodes, like Dott LeHeat as the Pervert.

* * *

“Hey buddy, come here for a sec,” says the man in the blue cap to a stranger in a black coat and black sunglasses.

“What’s up guys?” says the man in the black coat.

“Oh, nothing much. Just thought you might be in the market for a pair of used panties.”

The stranger laughs.

“Used panties?” he says.

“Yeah,” says the man in the cap.

“Who’s this guy?” the stranger asks, nodding to the man in the checkered vest.

“Oh, I’m just a friend,” he says.

The stranger lowers his sunglasses to look at him.

* * *

The friend is Robbie Moses, who says improvisation is the key to getting a lot of the dialogue for the show.

“We have a basic script, and we just go from there.”

Moses said he got involved with Larter’s productions when he dropped his girlfriend off to be in an episode of Profile PEI about three years ago. Larter asked Moses to be in a scene and the two have worked together since.

* * *

“He’s just a friend,” the man in the cap says.

“Depends,” says the stranger. “Are they some dirty slut’s panties?”

“Definitely,” says the man in the cap, glancing at his friend.

“Really dirty?” the stranger prompts.

“Pretty dirty, yeah.”

“These are used panties, not washed? You haven’t washed them?”

“Nope.”

“Who is this girl?” asks the stranger.

“Well, I got a picture if you wanted to see,” says the man in the blue cap, reaching into his deer print vest to pull out a picture of Cheryl.

* * *

Moses said many of the characters in the series, like Cheryl, are based on real people, but the names are invented to avoid embarrassing anyone.

“A lot of the inspiration comes from hanging out with friends.”

The concept is loosely based on a video Larter made with a friend 10 years ago. It is also based on a short he made called A New Era, which featured two men standing around talking about the introduction of canned beer to the Island, as opposed to panties and Larter’s imaginary wife Cheryl.

* * *

“That’s my wife,” says the man in the blue cap.

“Your wife?” the stranger says, looking at the picture. “Oh, she is dirty.”

“Great gal, married for about 10 years.”

“Alright, let’s see these panties. Come on,” the stranger says.

“Okay, Jesus,” says the capped man, reaching again into his fleece vest.

“Holy f___,” the stranger says, pushing the panties into his face and smelling. “Does she play sports? Like, does she play basketball or something?”

He continues smelling them and sighing.

“Ah, that’s the sweet spot. How much for these? And the photo?”

“Twenty bucks?” says the capped man.

“You f______,” says the man, pausing to take a sniff, “Rookie idiot. These things would be worth 2,000 yen in Japan. You rookie f______.”

“Thank you sir,” says the capped man as the stranger walks away. He turns to his friend. “Thirty bucks,” he says.

* * *

And even if his character makes some cash on the show, real money is hard to come by with a web series on this scale, Larter said. The real purpose is to get an audience.

“Even though it is the most watched web series ever made on P.E.I., I still feel that it is undiscovered. Robbie and I have shot 20 episodes so we have about another month of new material to be released.”

Larter lives in Toronto, Ontario, so working on the show or any other projects together is difficult, Moses said.

“We could come back to it in a while, but while (Larter) is in Toronto and I’m here it’s kind of impossible to do anymore.”

Despite this, Larter still hopes the pair can convince somebody to fund a second season of the show.

“You need to be extremely dedicated, but it would be nice to do it again with more funding so we can pay people for their time.

The pair will release several more episodes in the series in the next month, and both said they would like to work on more projects for the internet.

“Anybody can do it,” Moses said. “All you need is an idea. And a camera, I guess.”

And in this case, several pairs of panties.

* * *

“Are those really Cheryl’s panties?” asks the man in the checkered vest.

“Yeah,” says the man in the cap.

“Can I get three pairs?”

“Three?” the capped man pauses. “Sixty bucks.”

“Oh, I know. I can add.”

“How do these look?” the capped man says, passing over the panties.

“Thank you,” says Robbie.

“F______ suckers,” says Jeremy. “Sweet.”

Robbie holds the panties up to his face and smells.

“Oh yeah, they are sweet.”

About these ads
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

%d bloggers like this: